Monday, August 16, 2010
I didn't think anyone could make the things Jessica Simpson said on MTV's 'Newlyweds' look smart.
Enter 'Snookie' from the Jersey Shore.
Episode 1: I feel like a pilgrim back in the 20s, washing clothes in the sink.
I don't go tanning-tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would have never put a tax on tanning. (she goes on to make reference to McCain being a pasty white guy and Obama not understanding because he doesn't need to tan.)
I really don’t want to cheat, like seriously, I don’t want to.. but if you’re gonna hand me a bottle of friggin’ SoCo, something just comes over me, like I just go crazy.
Episode 2: What is tuna? Is it like a fish?
The glasses are pretty much all crystalled out, all bling-bling, but when you put them on you can’t really see.. so I don’t think you can't drive with them.. because you’ll get a ticket.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
So for the longest time (ie. watching the City and listening to Roxy), I've heard about this woman named Rachel Zoe, some high profile stylist from LA. Now, I'm more Kelly Cutrone than anyone, so the shabby chic, high-maintenance squeal of Zoe's voice wasn't all that appealing until I recently began trolling the Internet for some new reality shows to watch. (Still haven't been able to watch a Real Housewives yet, but I'm sure I will someday.)
I happened to watch an episode of season 3 of the Rachel Zoe Project and I just couldn't look away. OMG. This woman is soooooooooooo high maintenance. In some weird way, I love her. She's the complete opposite of Kelly Cutrone, so I shouldn't love her, but I do.
I don't know what I find appealing. I love the color black. I hate high nasally voices. I hate women like her. I hate her white apartment with colored accents. I hate her obsession with Chanel. But this woman is fascinating in the way Kelly Cutrone is fascinating. But instead of Mama Wolf taking care of her team, Zoe is full on drama - "Should we burn this?", she asks her assistant Brad, regarding a magazine photo of her former employee.
In episode one of this season, Zoe's husband, who is running the business, has let go her no. 1 helper, Taylor, who was allegedly cooking the books as she helped herself to the cookie jar. But even more fascinating than listening to Zoe say insane things like "I die" is the fact that this woman can't get over the fact that she trained this girl, taught her everything she knows and then the girl steals from her and goes out on her own - after her clients. And she keeps saying things like "I need closure."
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Originally posted at www.thetranscript.com on August 5.
NORTH ADAMS -- It was "love at first sight" for Williamstown native Ali Fedotowsky when she originally met former North Adams SteepleCat Roberto Martinez getting out of a limo during a meet-and-greet with her 25 potential suitors while filming what would become the first episode of "The Bachelorette."
"In retrospect, looking back to the first night, that feeling that I had when I saw him was like nothing I’ve ever experienced," Fedotowsky said Tuesday during a teleconference with media from all over the country. But it wasn’t until their final date in Bora Bora, after Martinez, an insurance salesman from Charleston, South Carolina, met her family and received approval to ask for her hand in marriage from her father, Alex Fedotowsky, that she was sure he was the one.
"I knew for sure, with a 100 percent, that it was Roberto," she gushed. "During our last date together -- when we were in the rain together and just everything was so perfect and wonderful -- I felt so good, and I didn’t want to be with anyone else. At the end of the night, I’d be like, ‘OK, I need to stop focusing on this guy, and I need to focus on the next guy.’ But I couldn’t focus [on my date] with Chris. I just wanted to spend more time with Roberto. So that’s when I knew for sure."
For months rumors have circulated locally and in national tabloids that the pair had a "secretpast," having supposedly met during the summer of 2002, when then 19-year-old Martinez was pitching for the SteepleCats and Fedotowsky had just graduated from Mount Greylock Regional High School.
During the interview, the couple denied any such meeting.
"I wish I had," Martinez, who was also involved in the phone interview, said. "I wouldn’t have needed to go on the show. I would have filled her up right there."
Fedotowsky added, "We’ve been talking, and it’s funny, you know. My sister even wrote me and said, ‘Oh, my gosh. I think Roberto actually met this guy, who’s a friend of ours [when he was a SteepleCat].’ I think when I actually go home, to my hometown, it’ll be interesting to see how much overlap there is in our lives there -- that we never even knew about."
While it may have appeared that her family favored Chris Lambton, a landscaper from Dennis, Fedotowsky said her family is excited about spending more time getting to know their future son-in-law.
"I waited a little bit to tell my parents -- not because they wouldn’t be thrilled -- they loved Roberto when they met him," she said. "I didn’t want them to feel tempted to share the information. It’s such a huge secret to hold on to. So I waited a little bit, but when I told them, they were like, ‘Yes, we already knew. It was so obvious.’ So, they’re happy for me, and they just love this guy. They’re like, ‘When can we come out and be with you two and get to know Roberto better?’ "
Martinez’s family had the same reaction, he said.
"My family was extreme," he said. "They loved Ali when they met her, and they’re looking forward to spending more time with her."
But with so many break-ups after the show ends, including the recent split of Bachelor Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi just four months after their engagement, many are wondering if the connection between Fedotowsky and Martinez can withstand the microscope of the paparazzi and the normalcy of "real life."
While Martinez recently opened his State Farm insurance agency in San Diego, where the couple is now sharing an apartment, Fedotowsky isn’t planning on returning to her job as an account executive at FaceBook.
Instead, she’s hired an agent and is enjoying the media frenzy that has landed her numerous covers on tabloids such as US Weekly and on several television talk shows, including an appearance this morning on "Live with Kelly and Regis."
"I definitely have some people advising me right now and helping to represent me so I can figure out what’s the best move," she said. "I want to do this right. I want to do what is right for my relationship, for Roberto, for me and just make the best of this blessing we’ve been given."
She added, "I think that the limelight and ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and all those things -- that’s not what tore Jake and Vienna apart. What tore Jake and Vienna apart is something within the relationship. The relationship was already broken."
While marriage and children are in the future for the couple, they’re reluctant to say when they’ll tie the knot.
"For now we’ve been together for three months, and we’ve talked about it. Since then, we’ve taped the finale and gotten engaged -- it’s hard to answer," Fedotowsky said. "We’ve said possibly spring, summer of next year, but we’re also like, ‘Well, if we say that and then get really busy and don’t get married, people are going to say that there’s something wrong in our household.’ "
But when they do get married, the guest list is expected to be huge -- numbers as high as 700 have been floated around already. Such a large wedding has opened the couple up to the idea of televising the nuptials.
"I think the money we can save from that we can invest in our lives and our life together, and it’d be kind of cool just to share that moment with everybody," Martinez said.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
NORTH ADAMS - It was a fitting ending to 10 weeks of whining, weeping, back-stabbing, lying and waffling, as former North Adams SteepleCat Roberto Martinez dropped to one knee to propose to Ali Fedotowsky, a Berkshire-raised girl he may or may not have known during his 2002 stint as a pitcher for the local summer collegiate baseball team.
Standing in a shimmering champagne-colored, silk-chiffon strapless Alberto Makali gown on the luscious island of Bora Bora, Ali handed Roberto the last rose during Monday night's finale episode of "The Bachelorette." Good thing he accepted, since unbeknownst to him, he was the only man left standing.
In bold move, Ali had already "broken the rules" and opted to send the other finalist, Chris Lambton of Dennis, home the day before the final rose ceremony. Ali, the girl who told us ad nauseum that she had given up everything to find love, took a serious risk by sending home a guy who seemed like he was a sure thing when it came to getting a proposal. Instead, Ali did the classy thing.
The day before the final rose ceremony, when she was scheduled to go on a final romantic date with Chris, she instead explained to him that she was in love with someone else.
"I don't want to be the cause of any more hurt," she said in an interview after the scene, in which Chris shed a few man tears. "I wasn't going to do that to him. I had to do it today. Saying goodbye to Chris, I'm wondering if I made the right choice. I know I sent an
Her shocking move came after her family had weighed in heavily on the side of Chris, a 33-year-old landscaper who's ready to settle down and start a family. I'm sure he'll have no shortage of dates and proposals it seems everyone knows someone who's swooning for this castoff. He's the equivalent of Jacob in the "Twilight Saga" - the sensitive stud rejected by the franchise's heroine. He's ready to find his soul mate and cherish her forever (without the whole werewolf thing).
At the beginning of the episode, Ali introduced both of her beaus to her family - dad Alex, mom Beth, sister Raya and brother Michael - on the same day, but on separate occasions. For both men, the day was crucial - each was seeking the approval of her family as a whole but also the blessing of Ali's father for her hand in marriage.
For me, it was obvious at this point who Ali was going to choose. It was all about her body language. (I was using knowledge I had picked up during a seminar with body language expert and Donnie Deutsch regular -- MCLA alumna Janine "The Lyin Tamer" Driver.)
With Roberto, Ali had just been so attentive - she held his arm, leaned against him and gazed lovingly at his face when he spoke. When speaking to her mother, Beth, about him, Ali's eyes just lit up. Her face was in permanent smile mode, and her demeanor was almost hyperactive.
Before Beth, who still lives in North Berkshire, met privately with Roberto, she noted that he was "the tall, dark man of Ali's dreams" and that she needed to be sure he was right for her daughter. But instead of asking him 20 questions (they may have been edited out), she opted to ask Roberto if he had any questions about her daughter. He asked how to ensure she'd always be happy?
"I think you're already doing it and she's made that clear," Beth answered. "It's what you've done since the day you stepped out of the limo to today. I can't contain the joy of this whole experience. I see she really cares for you. I can see that. I want to say to you I believe that your heart is pure."
Although Alex gave his approval to both men, he was the lone family member to immediately recommend the fiery Latin dancer to his daughter. Raya, on the other hand, immediately said she favored Chris, noting his solid commitment to Ali and the fact that the pair's relationship had progressed more naturally (and slowly) over the two-month period, as opposed to the instant chemistry between Ali and Roberto. But I don't think the word "grounded" was used by Ali in her description of what she was looking for in a man.
Beth also advised her daughter not to discount the older Chris, who seemed to mesh flawlessly with her family, because he was a little more hesitant and was reserved about his feelings about the loss of his mother 1 1 2 years ago.
But in the end, Ali made the point that it was no longer about the men "being great guys."
"They're both great guys. It's about who's right for me," she said.
At this point, Ali faced a choice of two opposites - spontaneity vs. sensibility - the man who had walked across a tightrope 20 stories above the streets of San Francisco or the man who had slowly crossed the countryside on a moped because he didn't want to be the one who gave The Bachelorette road rash when he dumped it.
Ali's final date with Roberto seemed to seal Chris' fate - jet skiing and a spontaneous stop to jump in the ocean with a school of stingrays. Later that night, after a romantic picnic on a private beach, Ali didn't want to leave Roberto's room.
So, after months of waiting, speculation and the infamous RealitySteve.com reporting that Ali walked away a single woman (despite his recant two hours before the final show), Ali and Roberto walked away a couple, with a gorgeous ring and later an all-expense paid trip to Catalina (given to them by host Chris Harrison during the hour-long and boring "After the Final Rose" recap special).
The couple is currently moving in together - Roberto has moved his State Farm agency office to the West Coast - and planning a wedding for this summer or spring, if Roberto has his way.
Perhaps we'll all get an invite to the wedding - if they let ABC televise it. And maybe we'll get to see Chris again. There's always the hope that he'll be the next Bachelor.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
NORTH ADAMS - After weeks of waiting to see who Ali Fedotowsky picks as her potential husband, I reluctantly turned on the television Monday night to watch "The Men Tell All" episode of "The Bachelorette."
I questioned why a 10-week show needed to recap the very short season after only eight episodes. I wanted answers as to why I have to wait until Aug. 2 to know Ali's final choice.I wasn't looking forward to the "tell all" episode - this season was my first experience with this ongoing series, so I didn't know what fun lay ahead.
Heavy-hearted, I settled in for what I thought would be a boring episode, filled with suitors whose names and faces I'd either forgotten or didn't care to remember.Two minutes in, my spirits perked up: Was Chris Harrison making fun of Kasey for getting a tattoo of a heart and shield? Yep. With newfound hope, I started paying more attention as Harrison launched into the two-hour special, a mix of unaired footage interspersed with interviews of Ali and her suitors.
Particularly entertaining was the bashing of Justin "Rated-R" Rego, the entertainment wrestler from Toronto who left the show with his tail between his legs after it was discovered he had left not one but two women behind.
"How could 25 men be wrong?" asked Ty, one of the final four contestants.
"We all knew he was fake. I knew Ali was just trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt," he said, referring to the first night in the mansion, when the men voted Justin as the one who should be eliminated. Ali later overlooked the vote to keep him in the running.
Kirk, who made it to the final three, recounted a night when Justin went into the bathroom at 3 a.m., turned on the water in the sink and tub and could be heard "talking to himself."
"I'm listening to the voicemails he left his girlfriend, and I could hear water running in one of them," Kirk said. "He was calling his girlfriend on the other side of my wall."
Justin's deceptive ways didn't win him any friends among the men - many of their comments had to be bleeped out because of the foul words they used.
Craig R., a private detective who was eliminated during a series of dates in Turkey, referred to Justin as "evil" and a "bad person," while clearing up the misconception that Frank, a bachelor who left to go back to a girlfriend after making it to the final three, had planned that all along, like Justin."It's a 110 percent different situation," Craig said. "I can say this about Frank: He came on this show with great intentions and got confused."Hunter, who was eliminated after Justin hijacked his date with Ali, said he knew Ali and Frank had a natural chemistry - which every man had known existed since the couple's first date at the Hollywood sign.
"I think he was hoping those feelings [for his girlfriend] would go away," said Ty. "Do I think he was selfish? Yes, in retrospect, I do."
Host Harrison couldn't pass up the opportunity to chide Kasey, who got the tattoo on his forearm after Ali said she didn't think he was being genuine with her. (I personally think it was all of those times Kasey said he wanted to "protect and guard" Ali's heart that threw her off.)
Although Kasey was eventually left behind on a glacier near an active volcano in Iceland, he said he harbored no ill will toward the blond-haired vixen - opening up to her on national television was just a step in his path to finding true love.
Ty had a different take.
"Kasey is just loony tunes," he said. "He was in love with Ali before he met her. I have to give it to him, though; he was loony tunes the entire time. He was genuine."
Before the show was over, Harrison brought out an anxious Ali, dressed in a silver-sequined mini-dress that looked like it had been resurrected from the disco era.
"The hardest part of the show is the way we have to say goodbye," she said, looking all doey-eyed at the cast-off bachelors. "I knew going in to this that it would be difficult, but I didn't know how difficult it would be. I went into it thinking it would be all rainbows and butterflies."
Turns out it wasn't - no rainbows, no butterflies, no unicorn love for Kasey, no clear skies for the weatherman.
Twenty-three bachelors have gone down in flames, and as the end nears, Ali is left with former North Adams SteepleCat Roberto Martinez and Chris Lambton, a landscaper from Dennis, Mass.
Who will propose next week? Will anyone? Will Ali's father consent to give his blessing to either man? Will there be a happy ending after the most dramatic and most shocking season finale of "The Bachelorette" to date?
I don't know. I just hope the ending isn't lame.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
ADAMS -- Growing up in Adams, celebrity makeup artist Nathan Johnson always knew he was meant to live in the big city, but he could have never have guessed that his travels outside of the Berkshires would include two seasons as a make-up artist on the hit fashion reality show "Project Runway" and a list of clientele that includes Paul McCartney, Annette Bening, Kyra Sedgewick and Alan Cumming.
"My mother always called me her little cosmopolitan," he said Wednesday during an interview at the Polish National Alliance. "I didn’t know what that meant at the time, but I knew I belonged someplace like New York City. When I went off to college, I studied acting. I was on a soap opera, a co-host for a show on the Discovery Channel, on stage and in a few movies. During all of the time I was acting, I was doing make-up for myself and others. I designed the make-up for a few off-Broadway shows, then started doing it for television. One thing just led to another."
Johnson, a 1994 graduate of Hoosac Valley High School, returned home on Wednesday to host a makeup event for Beauty Society, the nationwide makeup and skin care company for which he serves as the executive makeup artist.
"Being the executive makeup artist for Beauty Society has been one of the most fulfilling years of my life," he said. "No matter how many celebrities I work with, real woman are still my heart and soul. I always think of my mom and aunts, who celebrity makeup and skin care products were so out of reach for financially. This is a way for me to teach women the tips and tricks of the celebrities with products that are good for them and are affordable."
He also provides advice to women through a variety of media, such as writing columns for Sephora.com on a monthly basis and for RunningwithHeels.com on a weekly basis, in addition to having articles and interviews appear in Harper’s Bazaar, Genre and Glamour magazines. He’s also done segments for CBS, Access Hollywood and Fox News.
"The first celebrity I did makeup for was Ice-T [who stars on Law & Order]," Johnson said. "I was then approached by Sephora to do a tips and tricks column. At that point, I hadn’t had any formal training, so I went to school."
Although he already held a master’s degree in acting from Columbia University and a bachelor’s in acting from Marymount Manhattan College, Johnson enrolled at the Make-up Designory in New York, from which he graduated in 2007 with a formal training in makeup artistry for fashion, film and television.
"Immediately after I got out of school, my celebrity clientele just increased," he said. "I’ve worked with over 80 famous faces. I’ve done work for people like Angela Lansbury, Chris Kattan and Nick Lachey. I’ve had my work appear in Rolling Stone and Elle. I’ve done makeup for the Tony Awards, Good Morning America, The Big Gay Sketch Show and The Early Show."
He added, "I’ve been very fortunate, I never feel like I work. I’d die behind a desk. I just couldn’t do a job like that. I love the challenge of makeup. I recently had the challenge of making a man look like Madonna. I had to figure out what features I could work with and what I had to add. It was great."
When he’s not in New York City, Los Angeles, Dallas or London for work, Johnson is usually working with real women through Beauty Society.
"Doing an event like this gives me a chance to work with a room full of people," he said. "Part of the reason I’m so passionate about what I do is because I understand what women go through. In school, I was picked on mercilessly for my weight and my sexuality.
"Magazines are tailor-made to make women feel bad about the way they look. Women are told by magazines that they’re too old, too fat, don’t wear the right clothes and they don’t have the right facial structure. I want to remind women that they are all so beautiful. Women need to be reminded that they are beautiful today, they were beautiful yesterday and they’ll be beautiful tomorrow. When they’re focused on how bad they look, the beauty can’t pour through their souls."
He said the worst mistake women make is that they believe makeup artists can work miracles.
"I can’t, only you can," Johnson said. "Skin care is so important, but it can stop at any time. I can teach you what are the right things to use on your face, but only the person opening the medicine cabinet can make sure that the products are being used."
He’s also a strong believer that women of every walk of life should have access to quality products at an affordable price.
"I was originally approached by another cosmetic company about working with their cosmetic line, but I opted to work with Beauty Society because they provide prescription-grade products to the average woman at affordable prices," he said. "Most quality skin care products cost hundreds of dollars because of the advertising campaigns behind them. A full-page advertisement in a magazine can cost $50,000 to $70,000. A full ad campaign can cost $500,000 for a product. We rely on our customers to tell each other how wonderful our products are, so we don’t have that added cost. We do everything in-house, in our own labs and nothing is out-sourced."
For more information on Johnson, visit www.nathansbeauty.com.
NORTH ADAMS - It was an emotional roller coaster ride this week for Ali Fedotowsky, as "The Bachelorette" moved into the high stakes world of romance in Tahiti, where she found out that another of her suitors wasn't being completely honest with her.
For weeks we've had to endure the insipid, namby-pamby ranting of Frank, who would whine about not being able to spend more time with his golden-haired vixen or cry about having to watch the love of his life date other men. In the end, Frank walked away from Ali to return to his ex-girlfriend Nicole, whom he suddenly realized he loved.
Seems ol' lover boy Frank may have taken notes from Justin "Rated-R" Rego's playbook and actually carried out his scheme. You remember Justin, the entertainment wrestler from Toronto, who was bounced from the show after it was revealed he had left not one, but two girlfriends behind in Canada? His original plan had been to make it to the final three and then bow out gracefully, claiming that feelings for his ex had been rekindled.
It was all too familiar Monday night, as Frank took a detour to Chicago, where he reunited with his recent ex-girlfriend Nicole, in an attempt at closure. You see, Frank, whom I've always felt uneasy about (in the first week of the show I called him a potential stalker, and Entertainment Weekly recently called him creepy and obsessed), was supposedly so "into" Ali, but he was going to sleep at night thinking of Nicole.
"Ali and I have a connection
that very few people have," he said. "It's fun. It's romantic. It's everything I want in a relationship, and I can see us getting married one day. I came here to fall in love with Ali, yet there's something in me that's holding me back. As I fall in love with Ali, I realize I may still be in love with Nicole. It's killing me that I have feelings for two girls."
So instead of heading to Tahiti, Frank flew off to Nicole in Chicago, where the two had an awkward heart-to-heart in which he confessed that his feelings for her had been brewing despite his affections for Ali.
If I were Nicole, I would have slapped his face and shoved him out the door. To think he had to spend a couple months dating another woman, whom he traveled around the world with, to realize that he loved her? But Nicole seems perfect for Frank. She has to be, since she told him she wasn't complete without him and it was time to come home.
Congratulations. You two seem perfect together.
While all of this was going on, Ali was happily enjoying her dates in Tahiti with former North Adams SteepleCat Roberto Martinez and Chris L., a landscaper from Dennis, Mass. During her date with Roberto, the couple flew to a nearby island where they swam in a heart-shaped lagoon and shared such long passionate kisses that I felt like a voyeur on their honeymoon. I was made uncomfortable by the intimacy we shared with the couple.
It was at dinner that Roberto expressed his feelings to the Williamstown native, sweat dripping from his brow ( I couldn't tell if he was nervous or too hot) as he admitted he had fallen for her. Ali presented him a key to a "fantasy suite," where the couple could spend the entire night together instead of in separate quarters. While this sentiment is romantic in some respects, I'd rather not let my imagination run wild with speculation of what happened after the lights and the cameras were turned off.
The next day Ali was in high spirits, as she set off on a yacht with Chris. The two swam in the luxurious crystal-clear water, collected pearls from oysters on the sand and shared an intimate dinner on a secluded island before making their way to the fantasy suite.
Now, it's my theory that each of the three remaining men represented some fantasy to Ali. Frank represented the man she can have fun with and who would follow her to distant locations as she follows her dreams. Roberto is the fun-loving partner and equal, whom she can build a life with if she chooses, while Chris is the older protector, who offers a dream life of security and family.
But which one is the right choice?
Ali had thought it was Frank, a man who promised he'd walk to the ends of the earth for her. He was the guy who would give up his job to follow her like a puppy dog. But when Frank arrived in Tahiti and said those horrible, horrible words, "We need to talk," Ali's world began to spiral downward. She had appeared all prepared to give her heart to the man who could flatter her with his obsession and love her with undying passion.
Frank didn't make his bad news any easier to take, as he systematically said how wonderful Ali was, how in love he was with her- and how he was returning to Nicole.
"I was crazy about you right from the beginning," he told Ali. "Every time I saw you, my feelings grew stronger and stronger. But, there was something holding me back, and basically it was unresolved feelings for an ex-girlfriend."
Frank isn't good at breaking up, because the man kept going on and on:
"You're perfect in every way. You make me feel better about myself. I love being with you," he gushed. "When I watched you drive away [from my family's home], I was thinking 'I could marry that girl.' I wanted to get closure and give everything I could give to you.
But then, he added, "The second I saw her [Nicole], all the old feelings kind of came rushing back."
Ali kicked Frank to the curb, but like all women, she later broke down and questioned if the problem was her, not the idiot-boy.
"This always happens to me," she said to host Chris Harrison. "I was so looking forward to falling in love with Frank today and everything coming together. I just don't understand. If there was another girl, why didn't he tell me? I just feel like he's the biggest jerk I've ever known. I've been saying for a while that Frank is everything I've been looking for in a guy. I was so sure he was going to meet my mom and dad. I just can't help thinking there is something wrong with me."
With Frank gone, there were only two men left to travel on to the island of Bora Bora with Ali to meet her family. But Ali insisted on having a rose ceremony, so Roberto and Chris wouldn't feel like their advancement was the direct result of Frank's departure.
"I need to make sure they accept the rose," she said.
So it's down to Roberto and Chris, but you'll have to wait two weeks until the series finale. Next week, it's "Men Tell All," a revealing episode where they talk openly about each other.